


only fools fall for you.

by Hotarunokimi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/F, Graduation Day, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Moving Away, Slow Burn, Time Skips, US setting, Writer!Sugawara, gayyyy, kiyoyachi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 10:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19828543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotarunokimi/pseuds/Hotarunokimi
Summary: Without even confessing, Koushi was left with a 10,000 mile distance between him and his best friend.(A story about distance, growth, and falling back together.)





	1. anything it takes to make you stay.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi? Sat in my docs for three years. Here you go.

“I’m leaving for Japan in a year.” Daichi Sawamura said, voice too nonchalant for the sentence. Suga felt his world slow down, and he looked up, jaw dropping just a centimeter. The dark brunet was stirring his iced coffee, the city bustling as if nothing was just broken.

“Japan?” He croaked, and Daichi smiled, eyebrows furrowed deeply. He still hadn’t looked up at his best friend, just paused the stirring and took a long sip. “Why?”

“Well, my mom wants me to stay with her for awhile and I figured…” He laughed, one small huff and finally met Sugawara’s eyes. “I know Japanese, why not just go to college there?”

Koushi looked away, leaned up against the table and closed his eyes. He was dizzy, nauseous and felt his world tumble down the drain. He clawed at his thoughts, desperate to find something to say. A ‘don’t go’, or a ‘please stay’, even ‘I’ve loved you for seven years, I need you more than anything’. But he just smiled, turning back to Daichi.

“I’m happy,” Sugawara said, and he was surprised by the smoothness of his tone. “You’ve been worried about your future plans all Junior year. You have to send me lots of pictures though!”

Daichi laughed, the hardy one that Suga fell in love with. He fell in love with every part of him and the thought of not seeing him for four or more years terrified him. Senior year would be the last. 

(He got home two hours later, buried his face in his pillow, and cried.)

-

Senior year hit hard, Sugawara was flooded with assignments, work, and volleyball. Conditioning began the moment school started and on the weekends he was serving tables. His sleep schedule was pretty much non existent, and Suga thought he’d be spending all his spare time with Daichi, but neither had spare time. They only saw each other at their shared locker and during practice.

“Daichi’s going to Japan!?” Hinata yelled, stealing everyone's attention. Soon, warm ups were abandoned to talk to their upperclassmen.

“What are you majoring in?” Asahi asked, voice tentative.

“What college!?” Nishinoya yelled as he jumped up and down, eyes sparkling.

“Is Japan scary?” Yachi asked, shivering in her shoes.

Suga couldn’t bring himself to join the huddle of boys, just continued doing dynamic stretches. The only other player who didn’t stop was Tsukishima, and he was on his phone doing whatever. “I’m applying for the college's next to my mom's apartment, and I think I’m going to be getting a medical degree.”

Ah.

Another thing Daichi kept from Sugawara, he stopped and looked at him. They were both looking at each other, eyes not separating. It was Suga that broke the staring contest and he turned to pick up a volleyball.

He bit back the tears, six or more years without Daichi. Of course he’d wanna be a doctor. Knowing him, he’d want to be a pediatrician. Sugawara sighed, heart aching and he felt Kiyoko’s eyes on him. She could probably read him, she had the ability to read everyone and Sugawara simultaneously loved and hated her for it.

-

Kiyoko   
Suga, do you want to talk about it?

Suga  
yeah... he told me about japan two weeks ago.  
im okay tho, just didnt know itd be more than 4 years  
we were bound to separate sooner or later, and i  
just have to deal with bottling my feelings for him  
for... you know… longer.

Kiyoko  
You can tell him, he wouldn’t change around you,  
Daichi cares for you a lot and he might even  
reciprocate your feelings if you try. Just a thought,  
but it’s really up to you. Just know I love and   
support all your decisions.

Kiyoko   
Well, except for your underage drinking  
decision. 

Suga  
thank you Kiyoko, and i mean it. youre always  
there for me. (also, you were having fun getting  
drunk calls from me, don’t lie.)

Kiyoko  
No comment.

-

Sugawara slammed Daichi’s number into his phone, crying as he paced around his living room. He picked up on the third ring, “Koushi, what’s-”

“I got into Haverford!!” He screamed, grinning from ear to ear. Suga jumped up and down and he heard Daichi laughing.

“That’s amazing!” He was so genuine, Suga could hear Daichi’s grin through the phone and it made him cry more. “I was just about to call you.”

“What!” Koushi laughed but it came out choked from his flood of tears. “Why?”

“I got into Tokyo.” Daichi said and the two laughed, relieved, overwhelmed and happy.

(When they met the next day, both had come to school with two coffee’s, their congratulatory gifts ruined. But they broke into another fit and Suga embraced him, coffee’s set on the cafeteria table as the blond relapsed into tears. Daichi was warm, and arms strong.)

-

“Congratulations class of 2017!” Their principal yelled into the microphone and they cheered. The graduates moved to their families, the parents crying more than their now adult kids. Suga’s mom and dad hugged him proudly and forced Daichi to take a picture. Asahi joined them and the three got a picture together, diplomas in hand as they grinned happily.   
Koushi found Kiyoko being swarmed by Ryuu and Yuu as they confessed their love to her. The little blonde Junior was looking back and forth, unsure about what to do. He was walking up to the three smiling, about to pull away the annoying boys. “Sorry, but I’m gay.” Kiyoko said and everyone froze, she looked over at Yachi who was staring at the graduate with red cheeks, “Yachi, please go out with me.”

“I-uh…” The poor girl was blushing all the way to her ears and she finally gave Kiyoko a robotic nod. “Yes please!” Yachi yelled and Kiyoko smiled, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

Sugawara turned around, shaking his head as he chuckled. Of course Kiyoko would confess like that, that girl had serious guts. He rammed into a firm body and looked up, meeting Daichi’s eyes. “That’s one way to come out.”

“Yeah,” Suga giggled, turning back to see Yachi fainted and Kiyoko holding her, worried about her now girlfriend. “But they’re cute.”

“Yeah…” He said, and then there was a lull in their conversation. Suga shifted a little, thinking of a topic.

“When does your plane leave?” He said and Daichi hummed, smiling.

“A week from now,” He was happy, so happy. Sugawara could only smile back. “My mom’s so excited to see me, and it’s, you know, exciting to go to a new place.”

Koushi jumped up and wrapped his arm around his neck, rubbing his knuckles against Daichi’s scalp. He yelled a protest but laughed, and Suga buried his head into his neck, laughing as he cried. 

(Kiyoko sent him a picture that night, their dark red gowns blending together as the two hugged. Daichi's hand was on the small of his back and Suga’s face hidden by his head. His grin was dazzling, and Koushi sent a simple thank you, the picture becoming his phone background.)

-

Daichi  
I landed!!! I’m relieved I made my mom teach  
me Japanese before she left, its everywhere!

Sugawara  
Daichi… i dont know what you expected,  
youre literally in japan

Daichi  
Okay Koushi, take your sass and never  
message me again.

Sugawara  
TOO BAD YOURE NEVER GETTIN RID OF   
ME

-

Sugawara lived for those 5 AM calls twice a week, when Daichi was getting ready for his first class and Suga was too groggy to give coherent answers. He’d always listen to Daichi complain about the translations errors, and how he wasn’t used to the culture there. Suga would support him, it was the only thing he really could do.

When Daichi was worried about school, a person, or even how he felt like he was bothering Koushi. And the blond always had to reassure, smiling and cracking jokes. They once promised to met, Daichi was going to visit, but the plans fell through. After that, they fell through.

In their second year of college, Daichi’s calls stopped for a month and his responses over text were short. He finally called at 4 AM, Koushi sat up and answered quickly.

“I got a girlfriend.” He was grinning, Sugawara could always tell.

(He lied, told him he hoped a healthy relationship.)

-

Kiyoko  
Hey

Kiyoko  
Are you okay?

Sugawara  
damn it kiyoko… can i call you?

-

They never met. They only texted, Koushi too scared to bother him and stopped picking up when he called. He didn’t want to be rude, or worst be a bad friend. But hearing him happy, without him, hurt. 

In the third year, Sugawara got a boyfriend. He was happy. Or at least he pretended to be, but the boy was sweet and truly cared for him. Whenever Koushi was depressed, he’d buy him coffee. His boyfriend never pressed the topic, just supported.

They broke up in six months.

And for the next four years, Daichi and Koushi never talked.

-

Koushi graduated, a major in English and immediately flew back to California. He met Kiyoko and Yachi, hugging them and smiling brightly. They were familiar, and Suga missed that. Kiyoko became his editor and he settled in a nice apartment next door from the two lovebirds. 

He spent all his time bottled up in his office, his computer screen burning into his retina as he typed all night. Suga finished three chapters in a month, had Kiyoko edit then watched it get mailed to seven publishing companies. 

Suga was a mess for two weeks, didn’t touch his computer and refreshed his email over a thousand times as he blasted through two seasons of Game of Thrones. The first email was a decline, then the next, then the next.

All seven publishers rejected his work.

Yachi baked him a whole dozen of chocolate chip cookies and constantly checked on him. Suga was prepared though, he knew what he was getting himself into when he picked writing as his job. So he got back to work, the coffee pot being turned on twice a day as he pondered over plots.

It hit him at three in the morning, and Suga spent all day writing. He was about to go twenty-four hours of no sleep but Kiyoko pried him away. “I do not need my writer dead, thank you very much.”

(That time, he got a response in a week and half by his reach publisher. That time, they took his story. Suga cried in relief.)

-

“I really like the part where the boy realized his feelings!” A young man said, freckles speckling his face. “I thought it was super heartbreaking and at the same time l-like beautiful!”

“Thank you so much,” Sugawara said, taking the hardcover copy of Pink Lemon and signing it gleefully. “I actually had a really hard time writing that scene, so it makes me happy to hear that. What’s your name?”

“Oh, uh, Tadashi. Uhm, Mr. Sugawara, if you don’t mind me asking,” The guy said, looking away awkwardly then shook his head. “N-Nevermind! Thank you so much!”

Koushi watched the young man run away, going to the side of a tall blond. He couldn’t help but grin, Tadashi looked at that man the same way Suga used to look at Daichi. He chuckled, turning back to the next person in line. The book was already in front of him, and the ash blond opened it cheerfully. “Who do I sign it out to?”

“Daichi,” Koushi stilled, looking up at his best friend. He was grinning that grin he loved oh so much. He was muscular, grew into his body and even more. He was looking at Suga the same way, like he could decipher his feelings with a single blink. It scared Koushi, made him feel like all his walls were bulldozed down. “Hey Koushi, you miss me?”

“Oh, if only you knew.”


	2. never knew loving could hurt this good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jokes on you fools, i’m still depressed. lol high school me, graduating still made you feel insignificant. oof.

“How does someone leave for six years, six fuckin’ years, and come back with a simple hey!?” Sugawara slurred as he slammed his drink down.

Kiyoko, and Yachi looked at each other, their drinks barely touched as Suga downed his fourth one. The blonde opened her mouth to say something and Kiyoko took her hand, shaking her head.

“You didn’t answer calls, text messages for FOUR YEARS. You dropped me off the edge of the Earth and you think you can return like it was nothing!?” Sugawara growled and leaned in, “you wanna know his lame ass excuse!? He broke his phone!” He gave a sharp laugh and glared, “that’s the biggest bullshit I’ve heard all year… No, my WHOLE LIFE!”

“Oh, drunk Kou is the best Kou!” Oikawa chimed in as he sat down, grinning at the ashy blond. “Save any drinks for Iwa and I?”

“Yeah,” He grumbled, slamming his head on the table. “Their up your goddamn ass.”

Hajime laughed as he sat down, sliding the mug away from Koushi’s reach. “Iwa!” Oikawa whined, “Don’t laugh, you’re the one with a stick up your ass!”

“You want to fight Shitty-”

“Oh my God, we get it!” Koushi grumbled, hitting his head purposefully against the wooden surface. Yachi squealed and slipped a napkin underneath his forehead as he went up and then down for another bang, that time much softer. “You two love each other too much, break the sexual tension and go fuck in the bathroom!”

“L-L-Language…” Yachi whimpered and her girlfriend rubbed soothing circles onto her back. Iwazumi and Oikawa immediately stopped their bickering, though the brunet tried to say something. (Hajime kicked him under the table to shut him up.)

“He wrote his new number on a sticky note, then handed it to me like it was nothing. Does he know how I’ve felt for all these years. I’ve masturbated to him so many times and he literally has no idea!” Sugawara cried, and Oikawa wanted to laugh but Hajime’s sharp glare shut him up.

“Koushi, Why don’t you just call him? Preferably when you’re sober.” Kiyoko suggested, pulling his hair back and running her nails on his scalp delicately. It soothed Koushi and he closed his eyes. “Just tell him how you’ve been feeling for all these years.”

-

The next day, Koushi had a migraine the size of the sun. The lights were too bright and he never wanted to leave his bed. He pulled his phone off the charger and dimmed it all the way down. Then he saw the yellow sticky note, pasted onto the back of his case, like it was desperate for his attention. It probably was. Koushi pulled it off and sighed deeply, unlocking his phone to dial in the new number.

He picked up on the fourth ring, “Hello?” Koushi opened his mouth, then closed it, pondering what he was actually going to say. He quickly regretted not rehearsing

“Hey Daichi.” He muttered and through the static, there was a sharp inhale.

“Koushi, it’s five in the morning…” Daichi said, voice thick. 

“Now you know how I felt…” He smiled, “except I was expecting your call, waiting for it every night.” There was a beat of awkward silence, and Suga silently regretted his words. “I-I didn’t really-”

“You’re right. I stopped trying,” Daichi said, groaning and in the distance Suga could hear the springs of his mattress squeak. “I’ll catch you up though, where did we leave off?”

He could hear the grin, and it made him smile as he giggled. 

(They were up till nine o’clock, Suga made coffee as Daichi walked around his apartment. It was him that had to go, he was due in the clinic at ten and still had to shower. Koushi regrettably complied, and they promised to meet.)

-

Meeting him was like a dream transcending into reality, I knew the moment he replied to my teasings that this was the man for me. “Adriel?” Peggy said, snapping me out of my thoughts with her tone insinuating something that I wanted nothing to do with. “I know you’re totally crushing on that new meat.”  
God. Everything she said just sounded gross.  
“Peg’s I have had two conversations with Isaac, I do not crush on a man that quickly.”  
And I totally wasn’t just spacing out about his beautifully sculpted face, or the way he throws his head back as he laughs. Or the way his eyes crinkle and nearly hide when he grins.   
“Okay, sure.” Peggy wasn’t convinced, and she made sure I knew as she walked away. The little skip in her step screaming ‘look I’m plotting!’.  
“I hate you.” I yell and the old lady sitting at the break table shot a baffled look my way, totally ignoring the way my best friend laughed manically.  
-Excerpt from Pink Lemon by Koushi Sugawara

-

“You called him!” Tooru yelled, laughing so much he dropped his folder of drafts. Suga blushed, slamming his head on the table hard enough that it made Yachi yelp.

They were sitting in Koushi’s apartment for a meeting about his next book. Kiyoko sat to the very left of him and Yachi on his right. The blond wasn’t technically a team member, but she constantly helped Oikawa with the book cover that they just let her stay. Oikawa was his amazing graphic artist, Hajime the best publicist he could ask for, and finally his newest member, Akaashi, who Kiyoko demanded to have help with the final edits. 

He adored his team, they got along (for the most part), and Suga was grateful they were willing to pour their heart into his writing. If it wasn’t for them then Pink Lemon would have not become a thing. “Oh, this Youtuber wants to have you on his show, he sent a really formal email about how amazing it was that you wrote about homosexuality and it recently became his favorite. It’d also be good exposure because this guy has four million subscribers.” Hajime said, scrolling on his laptop, completely ignoring his boyfriend. 

“Iwa! He called him!” Oikawa pressed, picking up the digital drawings and dropping them in front of Suga. He grabbed the writers shoulders and mocked a massage. “You finally got back together with your muse, Mr. Sugawara, please tell me how hard you’re going to be fucked-”

“Alright!” Iwazumi stood up and Tooru jumped away, going straight into a defensive stand. Hajime threw a pen at him and nailed the man right on his cheek.

“Sweetie!” Oikawa yelped, feigning his tears. “Don’t abuse me!”

“Anyways,” Kiyoko tapped the stack of papers against the table and garnered everyone's attention. 

“We need to discuss the agenda for Koushi’s next novel,” Akaashi said and Oikawa finally sat down, slipping into business mode. “Do you have a plot in mind?”

“Actually,” Koushi grinned and opened up his folder of plots he tossed aside. It was a personal favorite, but he decided he wasn’t developed enough and didn’t have a big enough following to tackle the topic. “I was thinking about finally getting back to Fuck The Girl.”

Yachi blushed at the name, and Oikawa cooed chewing the end of his pen, scribbling something in his notebook. His editor turned to him and smiled lightly, “I remember you talking about that one…”

“Yeah, it’s about a girl who started off in high school selling her body for a dollar, then when she moved to a city, she became a camgirl. I still want to nail my theme, sexuality, so I’m thinking she’s actually bisexual.” Koushi grinned, and Kiyoko nodded.

“A girl's point of view?” Akaashi said and jotted down the synopsis, “is that going to be a little difficult for you?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’ve been putting it off.” He sighed, “But I think Kiyoko and Yachi could help me get into the mind of a girl if I really need help.”

Yachi clapped excitedly, “I get to actually do something in my realm!” 

-

Tooru  
I know I was teasin ya alot, but I really do hope   
your meeting with Daichi goes well <3

Yachi  
GOOD LUCK, YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Kiyoko  
Breathe, you can do this, you do not have  
to bring up your feelings. Just step back  
into normalcy.

Akaashi  
I wish you luck.

Hajime  
Sorry Oikawa was an ass, he only  
does it to help… in his own twisted way.  
Good luck.

-

Sugawara silenced his phone when he stepped into the french cafe, he was delighted to see a lemon tart in the glass display. He walked over to the cashier and ordered a cappuccino along with the delicacy before plopping down on the metal chair. The transition between winter to spring was his favorite time. 

The mist outside drizzled the city and people ran by, a couple of them slipping on the thin layer of snow. Koushi wrapped his fingers around his warm drink and cherished the comfort it provided. The cafe’s door bell jingled and he looked up, seeing the face of Daichi.

And he forgot everything he was gonna say. Daichi grinned, waving happily, “I’m going to get a coffee.” He walked over to the counter and ordered an americano, waiting to get it before sitting across.

“You’re girlfriend?” Koushi looked up and tapped his pointer finger against the cup, Daichi looked at him with wide eyes and huffed.

“Eri?” He asked, and the writer shrugged. “We broke up, like, a year after we dated.”

“So what about the rest of the time?” His voice was choked up and he was positive Daichi could hear. Koushi shook his head, “nevermind, it doesn’t really matter.”

“It does.” Sawamura said, and he sipped at his drink. “I’m sorry, I really am. I dropped my phone off a bridge when I was riding my bike and it shattered in the shallow water. I didn’t have your number memorized and then I was flooded with schoolwork-”

“So you forgot about me.” He tilted his head up and stared at him, smiling sadly. “It’s fine, I actually wanted to tell you; I want a fresh start. I want to forget about everything. I want us to just start off being acquaintances and… I loved you.”

He heard a sharp inhale, and he looked away, staring out the window. “Kou-” H tried to put in his own words, but Suga wouldn’t let him.

“I loved you since freshman year, I watched you go through four girlfriend and I supported you. I wanted to tell you not to leave, to tell you I needed you here, I waited for you every night. I waited for you to call me at five AM and tell me ‘I miss you’ and ‘I love you’. And I’m not trying to put blame on you, this was all on me. I held these feelings and I built myself up.”

“I just… Needed to tell you. I can confidently do that now because I don’t love you, not anymore.” Koushi felt himself relax, all his pented up feelings out on the table. “I’m sorry, I just needed to tell you.”

“I understand,” Daichi muttered and they met each other's eyes, “I’m sorry, I wish I knew… I am happy though. I liked you senior year.”

“What?” Koushi snapped, looking at him in bewilderment. 

“Yeah, I… I realized the summer before, when we went to the river and you nearly drowned-”

“God, that was so embarrassing.” He grumbled at the memory, slipping off a rock and slapping his back on the freezing water. All he remembered was Daichi pulling him out and how everyone was staring.

“It was terrifying.” Daichi chuckled, “But I realized I liked you and telling about Japan… I was hoping you’d tell me not to go.”

Suga couldn’t hold back a laugh, burying his face in his hands. “Jeez, we were idiots.”

“We only wanted the best for each other.” Daichi corrected, but he was laughing too and Koushi dug his fork into the lemon tart, taking a big bite.

It was a little too bitter for his taste.


End file.
